Friday, October 16, 2015

Narrative Matters: Poems On The Cancer Experience

nm_blog2_oct 2015

Editor’s note: This spring, Health Affairs held its first ever poetry contest. Three winning poems were published in the journal. We’re also featuring some of our other favorites on the Blog throughout the month of October.

Medicine

Sundays after church, he puts on

the same pants, same wide brim hat,

unlocks the backyard shed –

each number of the combination

a birthday of a family member –

and sets out to cure his cancer.

He mows in scalpel clean incisions,

around the belly of his pool, up

along the side of his house,

straight back to where his property

touches his neighbors’ and back

again.

At the hospital, his doctors examined

his test results. All they could do

was wish him luck.

This procedure takes three hours, never

less, to cover the humble yard, smallest

in the master planned community. He stops

the engine to check for unevenness, gets

on his knees. To overlook a single piece of grass

would be a catastrophe.

-Michael Mark

Cost of Living

The wagons are circled,

Twenty-six chemo chairs.

We face the walls

And contemplate mortality.

Forty-two-thousand-dollars per

Three-week infusion.

Some are cheaper. The weekly treatments

Are only twenty-four-thousand.

Every chair in use, three shifts a day.

The nurse teaches us about pee.

Lower the lid before you flush —

Don’t contaminate your husband’s toothbrush.

Nevermind the frogs downstream,

Four legged cousins, your fishy friends.

You just sleep now.  Sleep.

I dream:

If I am very lucky, there will be an evening

Where the robins weave a web of calls,

And the fragrance of warmed petals lifts me off my feet.

I’ll hardly notice the frogs not croaking.

-Erica Sternin

What Doctors Say

When he calls you expect him to say

“Everything looks fine.” Instead

your friend, a radiologist, asks

“What’s going on with you?”

Another doctor shows you

grainy images; you don’t see anything

but black and gray blotches

without the Rorschach symmetry.

They decide to take the blotches out.

While you recover, lazing with dogs

in afternoon sunshine, this one calls.

Her message doesn’t say

“Everything looks great!”

Instead, “I’d like to discuss the results

of your pathology.” You call back

immediately. They’re closed ’til morning.

You dial at precisely 8:00 and leave a message,

take the kids to school, go about your day.

By closing time, no word.

You’re talking to your wife across five states

when the call comes. Her words blur

like hummingbird wings, only flashes of color

at the throat and the delicate, deadly beak:

only the words rare and cancer reverberate.

You’re 38 and must decide which parts

of yourself you want to keep. Suddenly

you can’t drive kids to school. Your mom

flies in, becomes a machine of cooking,

dishes, laundry. Slowly, you heal.

If luck continues, you’ll become intimate

bedfellows with screenings and invasive exams

for decades stretching out before you.

Outside the hospital, birds squabble,

tussle in the undergrowth and one by one

flit away in pursuit of that singular desire

spring has awakened in them.

-Elyse Arring

No comments:

Post a Comment